My initial flip response was "because I have a spare few minutes every week and I can't stand not being busy". It's not true of course - I don't have a few minutes spare at all. I could stand not to be so busy too. There must be a better reason. But after a few weeks of thinking about it, you know I still don't have a clear answer. Why do I keep a blog?

This paralysis of thought has been very unsettling if I'm honest. I spend hours putting this blog online - I no longer exercise, or eat, or even go birding much anymore (I'm exaggerating - I still eat) - and I'm not sure why...You know I've even delayed getting this post written until the very last minute so that I can read what other contributors have written in the hope that I can steal some ideas get some inspiration.

Actually, thinking about it, looking at other blogs might actually be part of the problem. They're just so darn good...

When I started this blog I rather airily wrote that I wanted "to have the best bird blog in the world". It wasn't meant to be yet another rod with which to beat myself, but that's how it's starting to feel. And two things make sure of it: for a start, I forgot to 'make a plan' (I'll never forget a high-school English-teacher handing back an essay I'd written with the words, "Ordinary evolves, Exceptional is planned" (I never forget the words, I just forget to plan); secondly I actually forgot to define what I meant by 'best'. Best written? Most read/quoted/influential? Well, let's just have a think about this...

• Best written? If I could write like Pohangina Pete, or Whippoorwill, or half a dozen others I might stand a chance. Otherwise...[blogger ruefully shakes head in gesture of defeat]
• Most read? You know, some days I think my visitor stats just reflect the number of times I've clicked on the visitor stats to see how many visitors I've had. Some days that counter clicks round as slowly as the office clock crawls around the dial on a friday afternoon. Glaciers move faster. No, not ever going to be most read...
• Most quoted? Never been quoted...my words are like wallflowers at a dance - they're waiting to be picked up but always return home alone. It's very sad (and you can quote me on that).
• Most influential then? Okay, here I do score highly: I once influenced two people to mail me telling me to cheer up. I reckon people don't take the time to tell you to cheer up unless you've affected them strongly (yes, it's a straw, but allow me to grasp here, I have a post to write...)

Okay, so far I'm not helping myself.

How about photography then? Hmm, I can't do 'best' (you ever had a look at Bogbumper or Woodsong or half a dozen others etc etc), but perhaps I can have the 'most photo heavy bird blog on the net'? Possibly, but all that reflects is the hours spent with that marriage-breaking pixel-mistress Photoshop, and my lack of self-control as far as the ftp programme on my desktop goes...

No, I'm heading for a dead-end here, and it's not a road I should be travelling on.

Why blog? Why. Blog. Question mark?

You know, maybe I should turn around, and look at this from another direction. Maybe it's not that looking at other blogs is part of the problem - maybe it's that looking at them is part of the reason. I mean, the world is one huge wonderful place - I can't see all of it, photograph it, or even know what I really think about it. I muddle along, my brain so slushy with jet-lag it sometimes feels like I've collided head-first with a plane rather than just worked on one. I do my best to sort a rainbow from the cloud of words that swirl around me - sometimes I get it right, and sometimes (like that last analogy) I don't. But, you know, no-one ever sniggers. No-one ever mails me to demand "Why are you still blogging?". No-one has ever pointed me to the corner of the room I keep my big stick in and said "Go ahead, Charlie, pick it up".

Quite the opposite in fact. They're a big-hearted bunch, the bloggers out there in the world of 'I and the Bird' and the rest of the universe of bird blogging. It's like I've slowly - and unknowingly - built up a support group of friends (most of whom I've never met of course). They're like strong arms. A cup of cocoa on a cold night when you're dead tired. Fellow obsessives, blogaholics, knowing how I feel, struggling like I struggle, wondering about the world around them and doing their best to express themselves as eloquently or as passionately or as clearly as they can. Driving themselves crazy to be the best that they can be...

The best that they can be. Now [cartoon light bulb flashes above blogger's head] there's a thought...

And they can do it, too. Look at the information that's available, the talents and skills so many wonderful people have donated by pressing that "Save to Site" button. Freely given, nothing expected back (just the odd kind word in the "comments" perhaps). And how do you get to access all of this? A membership fee? An invitation? No - you just log on and soak it all up. And if you feel like it you can start a blog yourself, tap out a few thoughts and let them float off to join thousands of others...even set yourself an unachievable aim if you're daft enough...

It's pretty inspiring really.

Why do I blog? Hey, how could I not....